A library of wisdom
Relationships, Quotes
The longest study of human happiness ever conducted, the Harvard Adult Development Study, started in 1938 and still running, has one finding so clear it is almost embarrassing: the A curated set of 30 quotes from the Relationships tradition.
“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”
“The people who fared the best were the people who leaned into relationships, with family, with friends, with community.”
“Loneliness kills. It is as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”
“When we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it was not their middle-age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.”
“I can predict, with 94% accuracy, whether a marriage will succeed or fail, by watching one fifteen-minute conversation.”
“Contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce.”
“Stable marriages have a ratio of five positive interactions to every one negative — in conflict.”
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
“The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.”
“The crisis of connection is the crisis of our time.”
“Eroticism in long-term love requires distance, mystery, and a partner you have not entirely figured out.”
“We need to feel close, but if we are too close, the spark is extinguished.”
“Vulnerability is not weakness. It is our most accurate measure of courage.”
“Connection is why we are here. We are hard-wired to connect with others, it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”
“Shame cannot survive being spoken.”
“A.R.E. — Are you Accessible? Are you Responsive? Are you Engaged? The three questions every adult attachment asks, every minute.”
“We are wired to need a few irreplaceable others. Love is not an emotion. It is a survival code.”
“Forgiveness is the final form of love.”
“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
“Without friends, no one would choose to live, even if he had all other goods.”
“Loneliness is the leprosy of modern life.”
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
“Loneliness is now associated with a greater risk of premature death than obesity, and is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”
“We are designed to be in relationship. From birth to the day we die, we need others to survive and to thrive.”
“Two people who really love each other are more than two people — they are a third, which is the relationship.”
“We do not need more good ideas about love. We need to call the people we love today.”
“Hold onto the people you love. It is the whole work.”
“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”
“All real living is meeting.”